Overcoming My Fears

I’m conservative (not meant as a political statement) –oh, ok, I’m a nerd/rule follower/chicken 90% of the time.  But when it comes to racing and athletic endeavors, I’ve always been a “go-for-it/no fear” type of gal.  Until my back injury.  Since then, I’ve found myself researching races then finding excuses chickening out as they approached.  I’d get in my own head and fill it with doubts.  I’m not in shape right now.  I haven’t been logging the necessary miles.  My paces aren’t what they were this time last year. Excuses, excuses, excuses.  LAME!

Last week, I had 2 good runs.  Runs that made me remember why I LOVE to run and made me want to run all the time again. 

On Saturday, I opted to ride with my cycle club group one more time before marathon training dictates I replace my Cannondale with my Asics/Sauconys (shoe drama deserves its own post) on Saturday mornings.  I almost didn’t make it to the ride courtesy of a late night (ahem, wine fog).  I met the group and realized I’d forgotten my Garmin and sunglasses- I should mentioned, I never installed a computer on my new bike and have just been using my Garmin.  My legs weren’t responding during the first few miles, but I kept telling myself to just make it to the first rest stop and reevaluate there.  I rode comfortably in the middle of the pack to that stop, realized from my fellow riders that we’d been averaging 19mph so far and I felt good (I did “pull” during some of those miles).  I ended up agreeing to an extra loop and riding 51.5 miles (18.5mph avg)–my longest post-injury ride!  I was pumped.  I felt like I’d turned a corner- a feeling that was affirmed by Corey’s sweet comment.

So, now it’s time to live one of the Oiselle mottoes and go fast, take chances.  I’m racing this weekend.  Not “running a race for fun”, but racing.  My #1 goal is to just toe the line- then of course, finish strong.  I will not compare myself to others, I will just run the best I can.  Stay tuned…


About fashionablemiles

30-something runner, triathlete and wannabe fashionista
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13 Responses to Overcoming My Fears

  1. Corey says:

    Eeeee! Distance? Location? Goals? So many questions!! haha…but I think you meant to leave us hanging like that! GOOD LUCK! Can’t wait to read all about it!!

  2. Terzah says:

    Good luck, Holly! I totally understand where you’re coming from. I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

  3. elizabeth says:

    crazy, just got your comment as i was reading your blog! can’t wait to see what you are doing and what you achieve this weekend! i was also just chatting with a friend about toeing the line injured and being scared. i know it will take time-good for you for putting it out there! no excuses!

  4. Laura says:

    I’m so glad you’re feeling strong and are ready to push yourself again! I know what you mean about being conservative… I feel the same way since my bouts with shin pain. I’m unofficially starting to ramp up for the Houston full but am definitely not registering until I have a solid 18 miler in. Curious to hear more about your race!

    • Thanks, Laura! You should DEFINITELY do Houston! Would love to be out there with you- likely eating your dust! 🙂 When do you have 18 scheduled? Maybe we can run some long ones together!

  5. I am struggling with that right now. Even though I have recovered from my hamstring injury (been out of PT for about a month), around that time I started developing an issue with my left knee. My body decided to ‘trade sides’ with being injured. My sports chiro diagnosed me with PAB Pes Anserine bursistis, which has been taking quite a few weeks to heal. Some sort of combo of tight muscles (inner hamstring, lower quads) since I had obviously not sustained it while running (because I was in PT for 2 months and not allowed to!).

    Definitely frustrating having back to back injuries (though this PAB seems related to inflexibility) and so I decided to defer a race in Jan for fear of not being able to get up to speed by then (since I’ve been ‘out of commission’ since July). Even though I have planned to defer it (still in works) I just worry if I will be able to run at all. I’ve not had issues previously, but the mind can get into a funk…so I understand your hesitation and fear! Wishing you the best 🙂

    • yes- back to back injuries are the worst! i will say that my “good” side did start to act up as we worked through problems on my “bad” side, but the therapist said it was normal because it had been overcompensating for so long! hopefully it’s a quick road to recovery for you and you’re back out there soon!!

      • masters2marathons says:

        thanks for your input! My sports chiro and PT seem surprised, but I kind of felt like it was due to ‘overcompensating’ and also not giving it as much attention (way tight!)

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