I can’t believe I’m actually going to write about this publicly, but it’s real, it happens and it sucks.
I’ve seen a few posts from people regarding Infant Loss Remembrance Day. If you know me, you know we do not have children. That’s not our choice. We tried, and tried, and tried some more. For 10+ years. In a move to ensure we had no regrets, (because I would have been deemed too old if we waited longer) we attempted IVF in 2010. We were living in Houston, TX at the time and being treated at the #2 clinic in the USA. Everything about the treatments and procedures were “textbook” according to the doctors and staff. We had 15 eggs harvested and fertilized, the 2 that developed the most quickly were then implanted back into me. Following the protocol, we went in for the pregnancy blood test a few weeks later. The next day, when the phone rang, it wasn’t the good news we hoped for but instead heartbreak on top of heartbreak. Not only were we NOT currently pregnant (implantation didn’t ‘take’), but the remaining 13 embryos in the lab had also died.
I don’t share this for sympathy, and definitely not for pity, but because I believe life begins at fertilization. I choose to hope that even though I’ll never know them on this earth, I have 15 tiny beings waiting for me in heaven. 15 reasons to remember.
**NOTE: Obviously there’s a lot more to our story than what I’ve written here, I may or may not ever elaborate, sorry. Also, this is MY blog and therefore MY opinions and beliefs.